if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
My balls are so social today.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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