dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize