Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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