Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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