Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize