can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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