Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
