Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
