OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize