she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize