is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
