How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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