ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
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