Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
