I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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