Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
