i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
