whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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