It was confusing and full of hummus
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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