Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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