our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
