You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
