he wants to bone in the snuggie
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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