So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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