i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
