I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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