I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
