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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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