Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
