my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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