Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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