...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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