Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
