So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
