the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
