"it" just moved
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
