haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
