Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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