direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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