i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
