You're completely useless in the revolution.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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