I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
