Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize