Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
