all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize