i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
