i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
