girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
