My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
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