The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
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