hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I think people are normalizing furries
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
