When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
