She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
