I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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