another moral hangover. fuck.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
