I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize