I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
