she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Randomize
