i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
