I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
3 2 1 whiskey
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
