my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
the day after is always just damage control
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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