i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
